Turning "13" in an upside-down world

How do you celebrate a special girl's 13th birthday in such an upside-down world - where girls that age no longer go get an ice cream cone with mom and dad, but are getting their social needs met by boyfriends on the internet, cell phone calls, and instant messaging. Pictures of pouty faced girls are everywhere in the media - a look of temptation and provocativeness - cell phone images are being passed around - girls looking for a moment of fame - their heroes are young girls themselves who have already sold themselves to the media.

I knew that I wanted my daughter to get a different message from us on her birthday...that turning 13 was a milestone and something to be celebrated in her spiritual journey - that we celebrate her value and worth as a gift from God, but it was not a license to pursue the culturally popular track so common today!  Now I know that daughters can make that choice even with parents who are really trying, so I am not judging anyone. In fact a friend of ours from the past has written a book and has a website just for this topic: Pastor Charles Stone and his daughter, Heather tell the story of their relationship through her tumultuous teenage years.

Back to the "13th" birthday - I decided to use an "enchanted" theme and utilize the best I had at home - "the men in our lives" - daddy (the king) and "the brothers"  joined me in making one enchanted day for our princess - the only daughter with 7 brothers (knights in shining armor).

 

With the invitation arriving early in the morning of the enchanted day and a tiara to make this princess feel special, our daughter launched out into the kingdom (she was such a great sport to wear the tiara proudly all day!) 

 

Following riddle clues, she met each of her brothers throughout the day for surprise activities - "breakfast with Brandon" where he told her she could have as much chocolate milk as she wanted - now it doesn't get better than that!

  "photo shoot with Kirk" at the lakefront - he is our amateur photographer -

 

 

"lunch with Zachary and Clayton" (her favorite - burritos and sparkling cider)

 

- movie and shopping (for royal wardrobe) with  mom and a close friend -

at the end of the day -

          outdoor dinner for two with dad, by lantern light -

picked up after dinner for coffee with Ryan and Wesley - at Starbucks -

Each event was accompanied by a clue written in Old English on parchment type paper, speaking words of blessing over the enchanted princess. Each brother was to tell her the story of where they were and how they responded (if old enough) to the addition of a daughter to a houseful of boys, 13 years ago. Then they were to share with her a special tribute. The smile on our daughter's face at the end of the day was a treasure.

What a challenge to raise up our children in this culture that is so hardened to right and so accepting of wrong. Sometimes I get tired of the fight for their purity and safety, until they can choose it themselves, but about that time I read an article like, "The Cellular Generation" and I am off and running again. Our children are gifts and treasures of great worth. We must do what it takes to bring them up in a way that directs them toward God and His goodness - no matter what the cost!

My words for you sweet Mary,

       "Many daughters have done nobly,   But you excel  them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:29-30 (NASB)    I love you - mom

In Need of God's Grace

  

Grandchildren are so precious, especially when you do not see them very often. The time that I spend with mine becomes more precious every time I see them. Of course it is always wonderful to get to go to the mountains in springtime Tennessee, in order to visit my grandsons.  Redbud trees (which are lavender) were blooming everywhere, as well as the dogwood trees.  Tulips were up as well as other spring flowers.  It was refreshing and peaceful everywhere we looked. As we boarded the plane for home, I was reminded of God's grace, watching the sun set on the mountains Tuesday evening. Author Jerry Bridges, says it well about grace, "Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace." That means that every day, no matter what kind of day it is, we need to relate to God and live life from His grace alone...there is no other way that works.

We were also able to hear our oldest son speak at  Celebration Church where he serves...posing the question to us out of Acts 17, "How much of your Christianity is cultural and how much of it is biblical?"  It was a great message from a great passage about Paul on a visit to Athens. Cultural Christianity is popular and do-able in America, but what does real biblical Christianity look like in this day?  I am always on a search to find out.

While in northeast Tennessee, we celebrated a 5th birthday with Tobin, celebrated "fun" with Josiah, and celebrated "life" with Jude, who has Tuberous Sclerosis. What is ahead for each of them and what does God have in mind for their lives?  Prayer will be the key, and I know that I am learning that more and more in life.  It is the only place to go on behalf of our children, grandchildren and others in our lives. There are many conflicting thoughts out there today for moms and grandmoms - pulling us away from our  main mission of working at home and taking care of our families. The promise of reliving our youth, a more fulfilled lifestyle, travel, escape from responsibilities...the Oprah message of "the secret" - leaving behind all that is negative in your life. Be careful who you listen to.

Being a follower of Christ is not for the fainthearted,

Luke 9:23-25 (Msg) 
    Jesus said,  "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?"

Finding yourself by giving yourself away - - the way of the mom - the way of the grandmother (me-mom) - the way of the follower of Christ!

Jude, you are precious and loved by God. The limitations and physical struggles you are experiencing are in His hands - His grace is there for you - He will never leave you - He is for you! And I love you!   me-mom

"I Needed a Policeman!"

 

Okay I am taking a new step. Realizing that not everyone wants to hear the ramblings of a mom moving through new seasons, I am trying to make this my "family" oriented blogging moment and I am using another place to talk more about what I am learning in life, seeking to follow Christ. Now, I do have to take a "number" at the computer since there are multiple users in the family. You moms with little ones out there; just wait, you will be moving over sooner than you think.

The pictures are of my second son, Brandon, who is a college graduate in Criminal Justice and is now officially a sworn-in sheriff for our county. Wow! What a moment and how I am learning a new way to pray when I wake up in the night, since he is on the 5 p.m. to 5 a.m. shift in a more volatile area (which is really everywhere these days - even Wet 'n Wild this past weekend). He is named after my dad, his pappaw, BranDON MILLER - a name that carries with it so much legacy - so much humor (which Brandon loves) - and so much spiritual depth - which we continue to pray for Brandon to grow in and possess all the days of his life.

Brandon was my baby and little boy, who was calm, sensitive, fun, stable, low-key, happy, peaceful...shall I go on? He also had a knack for stepping in when things got a little crazy with "the brothers" (which was often in our household, and still is), and he would mediate, trying to take things in his hands and help work it out. I would usually come on the scene and say, "Brandon, mom doesn't need you to be a policeman." And now, 20+ years later, I am saying, "I guess I did and didn't know it."

I have a "clear as day" memory of the first time I nursed him after arriving at home from the hospital in our little 600 square foot house, while in seminary. After having to rock our firstborn to sleep or having Bob dance around with him - (he loves music and movement), I laid Brandon down in the cradle, on his stomach, and he never moved or made a sound. I had to look at him several times to make sure he was okay - his eyes were wide open, but he lay there quietly till he fell asleep...he was one low-key guy!

We are extremely proud of Brandon - We have been blessed from the moment he came into our world and blessed even now in his calling and his vocation. Brandon, may you keep a sensitive heart in a very bitter, disrespectful, calculating, violent world. May you follow the path of Christ always - may you live up to the name that God led us to choose just for you. I respect you, admire you, trust you, believe in you, and most of all - love you!  mom

Life is Hard, But God is Here

"Where is God?" That is the question people ask, assuming that there is an answer that says he has stepped out for a moment or is not on the job like He should be. It's as if His presence should be known by whether He is on our time table, fixing our problems, and making things happen for us. The real answer is that He is here with me as I work through the issues of my life - He is there for my sister-in-love, married to my brother Gary, as they walk through the first stages of her breast cancer and chemotherapy - He is there for my little grandson with his daily seizures. He is there for my boys who are searching for direction for their futures - He is already out of ahead of them. He is in Afghanistan with missionary friends - He is with the children and women being lifted from the compound in El Dorado, Texas. God is big and He is near. What a mystery!

We don't have to take God somewhere so that He'll be there, and we don't have to hope He will go where we go or show up somewhere when we want Him to. He is already there - we just have to see Him and help others find Him right there in their midst. I had to smile when I read one author say that if you think you have to take God somewhere, you need to know that "God is very heavy!" I like that

One friend reminded me recently in looking back over a difficult past that the reason she does not constantly grieve it, is that she knows that God is as in charge of her  past, as He is her present, and is of her future. He covers it all. I guess that is why Jesus, Paul, and others told us not to worry - not be be anxious - God would take care of us. Somehow knowing that God is "omnipresent" - a big word that means He is everywhere - I am comforted. He is not limited to my location or my small knowledge of Him. Today - He is here with me, but there with you - He is not limited by geography or time - we just need to recognize Him - He is real and a Comforter to those who need Him.