Happy Birthday to my mom, a Proverbs 31+ kind of girl!!

Happy Birthday to one amazing lady who was born 89 years ago today, December 11, 1921, Margaret Elizabeth. Born in Laurel, Mississippi, with a twin brother Charles - she is better known today as Libby. She is mom to three sons, one daughter - grandmother to 17 teens to adults, great grandmom to seven, and "momma" (as my dad calls her) to hundreds around the country and world! She is just one great "mom." Sixty-four plus years ago she said, "yes" to a Pennsylvania GI who had come to her town of Baton Rouge, Louisiana. She moved to Orlando to be nearer to where he was stationed, then without either sets of parents nearby, this lady married the man she loved one hot July day. Both my mom and dad said "yes" to God first, then "yes" to each other second! They still have that same commitment today. She has never wavered - in fact, she would tell you that she loves God and my dad more today than ever before. What makes this lady so special?

When she said "yes" to God and "yes" to my dad, that began her on a journey that has taken her from southern Louisiana, to Florida, to Texas, to Long Island, New York, and all over the world. She has served selflessly as a wife, mom, and minister's wife all of these years. She has willingly moved from place to place and set up housekeeping wherever God took her; she has listened to thousands of sermons, taken notes, and laughed at jokes she had already heard! She has stood by the side of every one of her children, believing in them, praying for them, and giving to them and to their families. She has traveled the world with my dad the last 30 years as they have conducted prayer conferences for churches in almost every state and many foreign countries. She has logged hundreds of miles walking (and still does), with the man she loves. She has been there with him through multiple and ongoing physical struggles, as they have grown older together. She has laughed at her "elderly things" and never given up on getting things done that needed to get done. She emails on her computer and surfs the web. She carries her cell phone, although some times she forgets to turn it on! She hugs anyone whom she feels might need a hug, as she is out and about, meeting no strangers. She helps and prays for her neighbors, takes food to those much younger than herself, making sure no one goes hungry. She loves...loves like no one I know. She loves her children, grandchildren, and greatgrandchildren, and excitedly looks forward to many more of the latter! She has a Christmas stocking with a name for everyone of the family members and puts them up around her living room every year, celebrating the many lives in her family. She calls the lonely, listens to the needs of others, weeps with those who weep, and rejoices with those who rejoice. She has faced many storms courageously and plans to keep on doing so. She still cooks, drives, and helps my dad mow the yard. If you call her in the morning, you will catch her with her morning coffee, orange juice, and her Bible and prayer list. She may be praying for you. She is teachable and open to learning new skills, keeping the instructions close by in case she cannot remember them.

I am so proud of my mom and the picture of relentless motherhood she is; she is a powerful example of a faithful, loving wife, to her daughter, daughters-in-laws, grand-daughters, great-grand-daughter, and those yet to come. She is quiet strength - resolved commitment - love in action - an amazing mom.

Prov. 31 describes my mom well! She is a "wife of noble character...worth more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her...she brings him good, not harm all the days of her life!...she works with eager hands...she brings food from afar...gets up while it is still dark...provides food for her family (and others)...considers...and buys...sets about her work vigorously...her arms are (still) strong for her tasks...she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy (you cannot stop her even now)...her husband is respected at the city gate (many of them)...she is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed (yes, we do!); her husband also, and he praises her (boy, does he?); Many women do noble things (in this culture), but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Today I give her the reward she has earned, and I am one of her works praising her at the city gate!

Mom, may all of us who know you, follow your example, in love, faithfulness, and good deeds. You are amazing! Happy Birthday!!

Family - God's idea - He defined it!

My firstborn son Matthew worked out a way to bring our fourth son, Wesley, all the way in from Los Angeles, where he moved for school in August. After a midnight call from Matthew, in Tennessee, woke us up - asking us if we had received a special delivery (which we had not) - Wesley burst into our room, followed by a younger brother who had picked him up from the airport. I had been praying that someone would have him over for Thanksgiving, like we have others in our home for holidays. I had been on the phone with him earlier in the day, concerned that he have a place to be for Thanksgiving. He assured me he would work something out and have a good place to be for the day!! All the while, he was actually waiting in the airport to come home!
We will all be together after tonight when Matthew, his wife and children arrive. Eight children, one daughter-in-love (so far), and five grandchildren, six and under, including a set of boy/girl twins will all be in our home for the week!! My extended family is in Texas and I so miss doing holidays with them, but I am thrilled and grateful to have my family together for Thanksgiving!!

We were shocked by Wesley's arrival - he went from room to room waking the other siblings up. Mary Kathryn's response after being woken from a dead sleep was to jump up and say, "This is a dream come true!" As the boys all looked at each other, I thought, "Don't you just love the GIRL factor in a house full of boys??"

Family - what a great idea God had, and I am so thankful to Him for it!

Happy Anniversary to my husband!

Bob - 31 years - 8 cities - 8 churches - 8 children -

many pregnancies, many strollers, many diapers -

many cars, many houses, many meals -

many boys, many pancakes, many birthdays -

many songs, many sports, many miles -

many school days, many books, many field trips -

many people, many challenges, many hopes -

many hurts, many tears, many sorrows -

many trials, many hurdles, many questions -

even now,

but many hair bows, many blessings -

many knicknames -

many smiles - many laughs - many thanks -

many years with the person I chose to grow old with -

to cry with - to laugh with - to learn with -

to grow with - to parent with - to just do life with.

I am glad I chose you. I celebrate who are you - who you have been to me - who you are to our children - who God is in you - I love you and am so grateful to be able to walk another day with you by my side -  There are many views about relationships today, many misunderstandings, many expectations, many broken hearts - but I have learned so much from you in marriage, as I consider this verse: "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."  You are that kind of man - one who lays down his life daily for me, for our children, for anyone. I like how The Message says, "This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line...." That is you - unselfish, so kind, and so full of God’s unconditional love. It may not sound romantic, but how could anyone want more in the person she loves and marries?

Thank you. Happy 31^st Anniversary. I love you, Joy
est. October 14, 1978

Hang on to Homeschooling!

Who would have known? I heard my first homeschool radio broadcast in 1982 through Focus on the Family. I read my first homeschooling book shortly after. I met my first homeschooling student (age 9 who could not read until that year, then took off reading everything in sight) in our first year of seminary. Now, homeschooling on purpose since 1985 - 8 children later - 6 high school graduates - 5 college degrees so far - 2 more children in high school - missions minded - servants' hearts - worshippers - giving their lives away - that is how I would describe the children whom I have had the privilege of homeschooling in my own house! Did I use the perfect curriculum? No, often just what was handed down to me or was the most affordable. I must have had the perfect schedule - no, I am not sure we did the same thing any two days in a row for the last 25 years.  How will your seven boys play sports? Don't worry, they have played just about every one. What about socialization? I am not sure I could take it if my kids were any more social than they are! What about music lessons - how will you afford them on one salary? I have more kids playing more instruments and singing than I could have ever imagined, and without lessons!

"How did you do it," they ask? I have to confess, there is no "perfect" way to home school; there is no "right" curriculum; there is no "ultimate" schedule; there is no magic formula. There is not an ideal mother/child relationship for schooling at home. All I know is that it works. What works? Loving your kids and seeking to give them the best that you can in terms of character and a biblical worldview that can change their world...living life in front of them in an imperfect world, as an imperfect parent, who has a perfect Savior!

As I sat through two recent graduations of two sons, I was more convinced than ever of the possibilities and benefits of home schooling your children, if at all possible. They did it! We did it! God did it through us! Every time I drove by a middle school this year and watched the  inappropriate boy/girl interaction, I would look at my fourteen year old daughter and be so thankful that she did not have to endure all of that. When I watch the peer dependency of young people, then see my guys choose each other to throw the frisbee with, go to the beach or movies with, or just sit and play music with...I am again awed at what God has done. Reading Pilgrim's Progress and The Screwtape Letters, followed by incredible indepth discussions about the books - how could it get better? Easy? No, never, not one day, but do-able.

How can you respond to your children who are so grateful to you for the sacrifices you have made? How do you react when they tell you they are so glad that they have not grown up in churches where they had every need met by others and where trendiness was the modus operandi for ministry! They want to give their lives away and find God's will for themselves. When your tenth grader is discussing with businessmen in an airport about absolute truth and they ask him what college he goes to...when a son tells you how God is teaching Him to pray - when you ask your husband for a good verse on brokenness, and your daughter offers the ones she has been reading lately... when your sons who have never led worship, step out and lead for the very first time...when your young adults are talking to you about their future marriage relationships, and want your input (even though you are working hard at letting them determine their convictions and set their boundaries)...these and more are all byproducts of God's "amazing grace" in homeschooling.  Again, we are not perfect and our children have and do make mistakes. But to be able to be there and guide them through to the other side, is also a gift in homeschooling.

(mom, dad, and five of the eight at UCF, spring '09)

God initiated this direction - He went before us down this path - God kept our feet steady along the way - God has produced the fruit in the hearts and lives of our children. No shortcuts, no furmulas (although I have longed for them) - just hard work - prayers, tears, hugs, flexibility, and more hard work. If I could tell you it was a certain curriculum, schedule, or secret homeschool weapon, then I would not be able to boast in the Lord like I am. It is His mercy that has been new every morning - His faithfulness that has proven true, especially on those many days when I never even got to the academics for the day!

Take hope in the path that God has called you to, whatever that path is, and seek Him. Stay on it - don't give up! Fellow homeschool moms and dads, do not decide ahead of time what it must look like, exactly what every child should be and do,  and wonder how you are going to control it all. Focus on those internals, not just the externals. Ask God to allow you to follow Him in raising up children who love Him, love each other, and love the world...children who get it - who want to give their lives away for His sake! Wow!

I encourage you to keep on going! Enlarge your vision of God, to stay on this task. He uses every experience to teach us all. He is a BIG God and the object of our hope!!

back from texas and more...

Our family has just returned from Texas where we spent time with my parents, 86 and 87, who are amazingly plugging away at life and ministry.  We also saw my three brothers and family - did the cousin thing and enjoyed it all.  I will tell you more about my parents in a later space.

Meanwhile, I help lead a large homeschool co-op locally and also have the opportunity to teach a downtown women's lunch/bible study.  I am working hard on both and am pouring over what topics to cover in the luncheon-study.  Businesswomen from all over the downtown Orlando area come into a classy, decorated atmosphere, are served by numerous ladies from the sponsoring church, enjoy a great lunch made by an amazingly creative cook, then listen in to a teaching time.  The response has been amazing this past year so I will get to do it again this fall.  The question I am asking is, "What would working women want to hear about in the middle of their busy day, over lunch?  My goal is not too heavy, not too light, not too serious, not too silly, but practical, with humor, and uplifting, whatever the topic is.  I want them to go out smiling and encouraged, with a little better glimpse of our God.  I am considering a study on  women of the Bible, but then thought that it would be hard to invite a co-worker to come to lunch and learn about "Deborah" - Deborah who????  You would really have to know about these people to want to come.  Then I thought about an in-depth look at the Lord's Prayer and what each line represents in a prayer life.  Hmmmm.  Another thought I had, was to tackle the "giants in our lives"...like fear, discouragement, hurt, pain, failure, etc.  Maybe I could take one giant per week and talk about it and what God has to say in His Word about how to take on that giant - that would be something you could invite anyone to.  I think I would like to attend that one.  Anyway...

my seventh child just got his learner's permit - teaching a seventh child to drive - only one more after him to go - wow!  Talk about "prayer life" - teaching teen boys to drive is one way to increase your praying, quickly.  But we are making it!  This is my very fun 6'3" 15 year old who has had the ongoing struggle with how to "focus" on things in life (like school).  When he asked if I could picture him driving me around, I said, "NOOOOO!!!" but I was only kidding.  It may teach him to focus!  Wouldn't you trust this guy?? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He really is a great guy and so much fun...tenderhearted, serious about the Lord.  God is teaching him a lot this summer - through ministries like teenpact and through his own Bible study and involvement with other young people.  He and Zachary are also learning how to play instruments and lead in worship - very fun to see them grow!

I did watch a youtube this morning that touched my heart.  I long, as many of you do, for the "church" to be all it can be in our generation - to be real and powerful and full of God's creative work - and this is a little glimpse into that.  How secure these people were and once again, as my husband says, "It is a reminder that the church should be the safest place on earth."  If you have not seen it, watch "cardboard testimonies" and respond - it is very powerful!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Modern Day Hero - my sister-in-love

Life is full of twists and turns for everyone. As one book I read several years ago said, "Life is chaotic" (Finding God, by Larry Crabb). And it doesn't seem to be changing except for the worse. An amazing aspect of life though, is that in the midst of all of the mystery and chaos, there are people who ride the waves of life with great courage, strength, and grace. That is my sister-in-love. This year she has been diagnosed with breast cancer, which took the life of her older sister just a few years ago. Now she faces the same disease, but is doing so in a most gracious, faith-building way. She, her daughters, husband, and church family got together recently to form a club when she cut her hair before chemo started. Not just anyone could be in this new club; it was the "Dana's Hair Club for Men", involving men and boys who wanted to join Dana in cutting off their hair. Each man or boy got their own certificate and business cards to take them through the time frame of the chemotherapy.

With incredible courage, Dana cut the hair of those attending and hers was also cut that night. Her smiles have taken her through that night, as well as the most recent rounds of chemotherapy. Dana, you have been and are one classy lady, a dear friend, and I am so thankful that you are my sister-in-love. I could not love you more if you were my own sister. Thank you for your gift of courage and strength that blesses all who know you. We are on your team and pray that God sees you through to a great victory of LIFE!

Before the scissors began clicking...

 

 

 

This is Dana cutting my brother's hair; he is the pastor of the church and Dana's husband.

 

Dana has been a barber by trade so it was everyone's turn to get her back for all the hair cuts of the past! This is my brother cutting her hair. Now that would be scary!

The club with Dana and my brother, Gary, in the middle!

Now this is real church life - touching people where they really are. What an amazing group who would shave their heads to love Dana.

Dana, my brother, and their two daughters. They have definitely learned the fine art of scarf tying. At chemotherapy sessions, Dana teaches other women how to tie their scarves. This is the stuff great people and families are made of - making it together through the chaos of life - hanging on to the One True Person and Promise we have - Christ! You are all amazing! 
    Dana, May the God of peace himself make you entirely pure and devoted to God; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept strong and blameless until that day when our Lord Jesus Christ comes back again. God, who called you to become his child, will do all this for you, just as he promised.                                    1 Thes. 5:23-24 (Living) 

A GREAT MAN

Yesterday, we celebrated the birth of a great man in history; he is a man whom few know much about. That is usually the case, that the truly great men are little known. They do not seem to mind. But if there were more of this type of man in our world, what a difference it would make. In fact, it would change the world. This particular man is a man with great vision, a man of humility, a leader, a calm, patient and kind man, one who's convictions run deep, but his love runs deeper. He is not a reactionary man; he thinks before he speaks. And when he speaks, what he says is important. He is optimistic when things around him are discouraging. He smiles at the future, even when it is uncertain, because of his unrelenting faith in a God Who keeps His promises. He loves his wife and children and is committed to them in ways that few could ever understand. I wish every man could spend time with this man - to learn his ways and follow his heart. Yes, his heart - it is the greatest part about this man. It is full of wisdom and understanding that come through in every day life situations. He does not push himself on anyone and does not ever feel he must be the center of attention. He does not give up; he assumes the best about people; he looks out for the interests of others more than his own. He is truly an amazing person. He is my husband of almost 30 years and the father of all eight of my incredible children. He never pushes them to be what he wants them to be, but he is always there for whatever they are doing.  We may only have one daughter, but he dances with her as well. 

He is now not only dad, but G-daddy, a very significant player in the life of three little grandsons and all of those grandchildren to come. I pray that his children and grandchildren grow up to imitate the heart of "this great man." (He always had a little song he would hum to get them to go to sleep - he still sings it)

One son wrote....

"Hey Dad...I want to tell you that I love you and that I consider it a joy to have grown up under your fathering. I still remember when you would sing and pray with us before we went to bed. Those types  of things laid a foundation of love and care that has made me who I am. You have always demonstrated what it means to be a man of integrity, servant, father, hard worker, thinker, and teacher. Those things are what is central to biblical masculinity. Happy birthday! Know that I love you and am looking forward to growing even closer to you as I enter these next stages of my life."

Happy Birthday Bob and dad - at the end of the day I told him that I was so grateful that on this day in history, God chose to make such a great man...one about whom a book may never be written, but one who has changed our world. Your smile is a blessing to us - we love you - Joy, kids, and grandchildren!